Sweet Nothings’ 5th Anniversary, and an Announcement

Most photos in this post by Tessa Flannery, an actor and photographer in New York, and a lovely human.

Sweet Nothings wears Dottie's Delights Hawa Bodysuit. Photo (c) Tessa Flannery

First of all, y’all, my immediate reaction when I think about the fact that Sweet Nothings has been around for five years is to say “holy shit!” That’s not entirely true, the other thing to say is “thank you”, but I’m going to say that a lot more in a minute, so consider this a dainty, preliminary, amuse-bouche sort of thank you before we get to the main course. Oh, wait, the third thing to say is “Happy Birthday to The Rock”, because Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Sweet Nothings share a birthday, which never fails to bring joy to my heart.

But y’all! Five years! I have loved almost every minute of writing this blog, meeting my readers and other writers, and talking about lingerie with people who are as interested in it as I am, and in how what we choose to wear shapes how we think about and talk and feel about ourselves. I’ve been going back through some of my early posts, and it’s been cool looking back to see what lingerie styles I liked then versus now (I was obsessed with polka dots, and now I’m super into silk, my brand is drama), how my writing has changed (I honestly feel like I used to be funnier, but I also think (hope!) that my writing has gotten more sensitive and inclusive), and how the kinds of posts I like to write have evolved (I wrote for a year and a half without ever showing a picture of myself, and now I’m gallivanting around Instagram in my underwear). The impetus for Sweet Nothings grew out of talks with my therapist, honestly, and I couldn’t in a million years have foreseen that it would also give me the opportunity to meet and work with so many other artists, designers, and writers in this industry. I’ve been privileged to live in New York City and have a “real” job that lets me save up to fund special projects and photoshoots, but I genuinely, honestly believe that I would not have had these opportunities without the incredible people who’ve read this blog over the last five years. You all are funny and smart and curious and passionate, and it’s really just been a delight having you here.

Sweet Nothings wears Dottie's Delights Hawa Bodysuit. Photo (c) Tessa FlanneryYou may have noticed that my posting frequency has gone down in the last two years, from twice a week to once a week (if I’m lucky). Some of it is because my posts with photography cost me money (every review costs me around $40-50, even if the lingerie is a review sample), and I have to budget for them, and some of it is because in January of 2016 I moved to a new department and a new position at my firm, and my available blogging time sharply plummeted. I’m on my feet more and have more responsibilities during the day, and it makes it hard to tackle even simple administrative tasks for the blog, let alone compile trend reports or plan photoshoots, let alone get enough sleep and exercise and socialize and clean my apartment and cook and…you feel me.

Depending on whether or not you follow me on social media, you may or may not also have noticed that I am, to put it bluntly, struggling with the absolute shitshow that is the state of my country right now. Not only is my Twitter feed a series of alarmist retweets interspersed with Gus and Ruby, but my depression and anxiety, which I thought I’d successfully recovered from three years ago, are creeping steadily back onto the scene. My sleep patterns, energy levels, moods, and ability to focus have all been affected, and I’m struggling to balance the need to let my mind and body rest and the need to get my mind and body moving to stay healthy, the need to avoid socializing or stimulation so I can heal and the need to seek out company and to connect with other people.

Sweet Nothings wears Dottie's Delights Hawa Bodysuit. Photo (c) Tessa Flannery

I originally moved to New York in 2007 to be an actor, and in 2010 (or thereabouts) I walked out of a production the day before tech rehearsals started because both my physical safety and mental health were in danger. I thought for a long time that that was it, I’d quit because I couldn’t hack it, I was done, I wouldn’t act again. I was invited to audition for a friend’s production of Macbeth in July of 2016, and I performed for four weeks in September-October 2016. I’m quite certain I didn’t give an amazing performance, but having the opportunity to do that kind of work again, engaging with real, actual people who weren’t behind a computer screen, was deeply fulfilling, and made me aware that while I’m very happy with (and proud of!) the independent life I’ve built for myself in New York, there’s a very real likelihood that I’m keeping myself removed from the kinds of human connections and relationships that will ultimately make me happier, and will probably make me a better citizen and, you know, person.

Sweet Nothings wears Dottie's Delights Hawa Bodysuit. Photo (c) Tessa Flannery

Clowning around onstage during warmups, October 2016. Wearing Bravissimo’s Garbo basque as part of my costume. Photo by fellow actor Theresa Nicholas

The long and short of it is that I have a few more reviews queued up and a few more posts left to write, but around the end of June I plan to stop updating Sweet Nothings regularly. The site will stay live, I will continue to monitor and respond to comments on the blog, and I’ll most likely stay active on social media, but I will be suspending my regular posting schedule (such as it is) of original content. I want to keep my toes in the lingerie industry, so I hope folks will continue to send me lookbooks, questions, and requests, and I really hope to be able to work on special projects and styled shoots like brand/retailer collaborations and the holiday editorials (I’m kicking around an idea for this year that I really, really love), but regular reviews and posts have become too costly, in terms of my time management, my budget, and my health. I’ve also hit a point where I feel like what I have to offer in terms of lingerie education has already been covered, and I never really wanted the blog to turn into a review-a-palooza, like “here is a thing, go buy it!”, which I’ve worried about lately. There are folks writing about body image and body positivity who, frankly, are more qualified than I am, and I’m not convinced of the long-term value of my contributions, as an able-bodied white lady who’s only slightly-bigger-than-average.

To recap: regular posting will stop, I will still be around, there will be occasional special posts and projects, I’m available for collaborations, I still think bras are spectacular, I just gotta get out from behind the computer screen for a while.

Sweet Nothings wears Dottie's Delights Hawa Bodysuit. Photo (c) Tessa Flannery

I’m really excited about the remaining reviews and posts I have in my queue; it is a great privilege that I get to wrap things up with coverage of some truly exceptional pieces from some outstanding brands. I may also put together a “best of” kind of round-up of my absolute favorite lingerie I’ve tried over the last five years. Is there anything in particular anyone would like to see? I know I haven’t done a recipe in a while (hello, my three readers who read me for the recipes, sorry about all the boobs), but if there’s interest I’d consider putting one last baking post together, maybe? Or a final roundup of bra fitting tips? Reading recommendations? More pictures of Gus & Ruby? As I’m winding things down, I’d love to hear from you!

Thank you so much for giving me the gift of writing Sweet Nothings for these last five years. I treasure them, and you, more than you can possibly know.

With love,

Sweets

Sweet Nothings wears Dottie's Delights Hawa Bodysuit. Photo (c) Tessa Flannery

 

 

44 Comments on Sweet Nothings’ 5th Anniversary, and an Announcement

  1. Suzanne Forbes
    May 2, 2017 at 8:18 am (4 months ago)

    Thank you for all the lovely work you have created. I wish you the best in healing from recurrent mental health challenges and in finding a creative balance where you can thrive.

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:35 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you very much, Suzanne!

      Reply
  2. Catherine
    May 2, 2017 at 8:27 am (4 months ago)

    You are one of my very favourite lingerie blogs :)

    But life moves on, and nothing stays the same forever. Good luck with your next stage.

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:36 am (4 months ago)

      You are one of my very favorite lingerie brand people! That’s your technical title, right? Thank you so much for your support and friendship :)

      Reply
  3. Andra
    May 2, 2017 at 8:32 am (4 months ago)

    I just want to say I love reading your blog, it’s awesome, this and The Lingerie Addict are my favourite blogs. I’m sad to see it winding down, but obviously your wellbeing is the most important thing and I hope you feel better.
    I’m also glad you’ll still be doing special projects, since the photoshoots were my favourite part of the blog and I’m still swooning over the Aphrodite one, so much drama <3
    Thank you for everything!

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:37 am (4 months ago)

      Thank YOU for reading, and for your message of support. Hope all is well with you!

      Reply
  4. rare.device
    May 2, 2017 at 9:07 am (4 months ago)

    Thank you so much for all you’ve put out there in the world – so much beauty and thoughtfulness! I’ll miss seeing regular posts from you, but these are very good reasons to step away, and I wish you all the best in finding more balance, happiness, and time with people out there in the real world. Your holiday editorials are one of my favorite things in the lingerie blogging world, though, so I’ll be looking forward to that!

    I would love to see a roundup of your favorite pieces – either ones you own/wear or fantasy pieces you never acquired but still think about!

    Hope to keep seeing you out there on social media <3

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:40 am (4 months ago)

      Oooh, I’ve been wanting to do a round-up for my own selfish reasons, so I’m delighted to hear that you’d like one too! You will definitely keep seeing me on social media because I want to keep following your and Imogen’s adventures! Thank you so much for the kind words and support
      xo

      Reply
  5. DDtop
    May 2, 2017 at 9:43 am (4 months ago)

    Hi yes i can sure understand you and where coming from on the mental health/social pressures side as someone that’s in the “Autism spectrum” having Asperger’s etc
    Along with Fibromyalgia &dealing with the fallout of a small/mild? stroke had while back from being on T HRT for my prolactinoma(clot’s)
    Funny thing with the T was it made them grow lot’s!
    Asperger’s can make you feel like top of the world to feeling like something trod in under one’s shoe @the drop of a hat why in the UK they deem you a vulnerable person.
    The stroke effects my concentration ie lack of it & memory which Fibro adds to!

    So fully understand you and where coming from as it’s something others can’t see it effects everyone differently to.
    So take your time and have time to your self doing what you desire not what others do.
    As i often just want to be on my own where as other times fine to be in a crowd!

    I like reading your posts as really great as you say many write/review!but it’s not always what’s written but it’s how it comes across as you could write a million pages on something so in depth that Jacques Cousteau would would have to look down from his submarine to read the bottom parts!
    Yet still wouldn’t engage the reader they’d read it probably either switched off halfway or still not have a clue as it’s not in there brain language?
    But yours are great thoughtful airy with enough depth&detail to create a great impression in a readers mind of the item so there thoughts on reading the article are always kept alive which is a rare talent to always be so creative with a great Panache to entertain.
    Our thoughts are always with you.

    Reply
  6. Hannah
    May 2, 2017 at 10:33 am (4 months ago)

    This has been so much fun to follow and read. Wishing you strength and luck in your next adventure! Big hugs from London xoxox

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:41 am (4 months ago)

      HANNAH! Oh my goodness, thank you! Lots of love to you, hopefully I’ll catch you next time I’m in your neck of the woods ;)
      xo

      Reply
  7. Wytch
    May 2, 2017 at 11:11 am (4 months ago)

    I just wanted to say thank you for all of your wonderful posts and reviews. You’ve been one of my favorite​ bloggers since you started and you’ve introduced me to so many wonderful new styles and brands. I’m happy that you are taking time to care for your well being but I will miss your posts and absolutely gorgeous photo shoots. Good luck and I’ll look forward to your remaining posts. All the best!

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:42 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you so much for this, and for being such an enthusiastic reader for so long. It’s been a real pleasure, and I really appreciate your support.

      Reply
  8. Mira
    May 2, 2017 at 11:30 am (4 months ago)

    Hi Sweets,
    Five years, that’s good about of hours of work to bring your lingerie blog to such a respected and liked moment. As you know, life is just a chain of unexpected smaller and bigger accidents, the good and the bad ones..just to stay in done sort of balance, you know ;) Take care about your health right now because it’s time to do it right now. I’m sure one day you will be back again to write fresh posts woth lots of nice images at Sweet Nothings. I’m sure lots of people will waiting for your comeback.
    Take care and good luck.
    M.x

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:43 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you, Mira!

      Reply
  9. Lee Rivers
    May 2, 2017 at 12:27 pm (4 months ago)

    Thank you so much, Sweets, for everything. I also retreated to do a bit more face-to-face stuff and treat my depression. My best to you, and I hope to stay in touch a bit (esp. since I’m moving back East!).

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:44 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you so much, and I hope you’re feeling well now! Safe travels on the upcoming move!

      Reply
  10. Noire
    May 2, 2017 at 1:12 pm (4 months ago)

    Aw I’m sorry to hear that you’ll ending the blog soon but more so that your health isn’t what is should be, I really hope your depression/anxiety levels improve. Speaking from experience knowing that you’re slipping back into depression is terrifying.

    On personal and selfish note I’m sorry you’re going to stop reviewing because your taste is much like my own and you always seemed to have reviews of the exact pieces I was going to buy!

    I would love a round up post of your favourite pieces over the years!

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:49 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you so much– it’s really incredible and gratifying to me when people tell me that my reviews are helpful to them. I think I can definitely do a roundup of my favorite posts! Thank you for reading, and for your support.

      Reply
  11. Nicole
    May 2, 2017 at 4:30 pm (4 months ago)

    I’m going to miss your blog posts, but I’m glad to know that you’re taking care of yourself. I have absolutely loved your blog, and even though I was already a lingerie lover, your posts gave me an entirely new perspective on it, not least the sheer artistry of it. I admire your grace and humor (and have appreciated being able to read reviews from someone with a body somewhat like mine). Thank you so much, and I sincerely hope that things improve (and that we can look forward to hearing from you occasionally)!

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:56 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you so, so much, Nicole. I’m so glad to hear that the reviews have been helpful, and it means so much to hear that you loved the blog. I’ll definitely pop back in occasionally with new projects! Wishing you the very best- Sweets

      Reply
  12. Joanna
    May 2, 2017 at 8:39 pm (4 months ago)

    Sweetnothingnyc,
    ” I’m not convinced of the long-term value of my contributions, as an able-bodied white lady who’s only slightly-bigger-than-average”

    I am sorry to hear that, as you and Lingerie Addict made a huge impact on how I decided to run my business.

    Please take care of your soul and your body and recover fast !

    JT

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:54 am (4 months ago)

      Hi Joanna, in fairness, I perhaps wasn’t as clear as I should have been, but I think it’s important to state that in context I was referring specifically to the body positivity movement and the marginalization of plus size folks, disabled folks, older folks, and people of color in blogging, the lingerie industry, the body positivity movement that they themselves started, and society at large. People who look like me are becoming increasingly well-represented in media, and in lingerie blogging specifically, and I think it would be disingenuous to claim that I am in any way marginalized. That said, I am honored and gratified to hear that Sweet Nothings inspired your business! That is an incredibly lovely thing to hear, and I wish you so much happiness and success!

      Reply
  13. JC
    May 2, 2017 at 9:24 pm (4 months ago)

    Thank you for all that you do! You are so talented. I will miss your post and your beautiful photos. Take care. I hope you find good health and happiness.

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 11:56 am (4 months ago)

      Thank you so much, JC!

      Reply
  14. Jess
    May 2, 2017 at 10:59 pm (4 months ago)

    Sweets–you will forever remain one of my favourite bloggers, and in particular your post on losing weight in public will probably always be the most striking, relatable post I’ve found on the internet. You’ve been an intelligent voice of inspiration for the last five years, and I’ve truly loved reading your blog. I’m sad that you’re leaving the blogging world, but so glad to see that you’re putting yourself first (I had similar reasons for stopping blogging as well), and that you’ll be sticking around on social media. Whether you’re wearing lingerie or an old t-shirt, you’re one of my favourite people to follow online! And, obv, Gus & Ruby photos are always appreciated.

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 12:02 pm (4 months ago)

      Jess, wow, thank you very much. I’ve been really overwhelmed by these lovely messages. Gus and Ruby send their fond regards, and look forward to gradually taking over all my social media channels :)
      xo

      Reply
  15. Marzena
    May 3, 2017 at 3:37 am (4 months ago)

    I wish for you to be ready and healthy for the cosmic battle.
    You are a beautiful, generous, kind, and wonderful women.
    I feel privileged to know you and to have met you.
    Thank you for everything and all the best.
    See you on life’s highway.

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 12:08 pm (4 months ago)

      Marzena, it has been such a pleasure knowing and working with you. Thank you so much for your kind words and support, and sending you very best wishes for your new career and adventures!

      Reply
  16. Aisha
    May 3, 2017 at 6:12 am (4 months ago)

    Sweets, thank you, thank you, thank you for giving us five wonderful years!

    While I’m saddened to hear about the product reviews (I absolutely think your reviews are an eye-opening decision-making guide), I am glad you’re taking steps to make yourself happier and healthier, and I’m excited for you for the next phases in your life.

    I look forward to your awesome editorials and collaborations.

    Happy birthday, Sweets!

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 3, 2017 at 12:09 pm (4 months ago)

      Thank you, Aisha! It’s been so lovely getting to know you and working with you– sending you my very best wishes!

      Reply
  17. Erica of A Sophisticated Pair
    May 3, 2017 at 3:39 pm (4 months ago)

    Sweets, it has been a true pleasure reading your blog over the years and getting to know you more. Yours is one of my personal favorites, and I’ll miss the regular updates. But, I completely understand needing to shift your priorities and focus on yourself. You should feel incredibly proud. <3

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 5, 2017 at 3:13 pm (3 months ago)

      Thank you so much, Erica, for your example and your friendship.

      Reply
  18. Leanna
    May 4, 2017 at 2:39 pm (3 months ago)

    It goes without saying I’m truly saddened by your leaving the blogging world, whilst still being really happy for you being able to step back and put your wonderful self first. You have been a dream come true to work together with, a beautiful inspiration creatively, and of course a truly special person to get to know as a friend! Here begins a new chapter, and I’m so happy to have enjoyed your thoughtful words, stunning images and super-exciting creativity over the years!

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 5, 2017 at 3:14 pm (3 months ago)

      Thank you, Leanna, for your support and your friendship and your creative collaboration! It’s been a pleasure and a privilege getting to know and sharing Harlow & Fox with the world. Thank you for all you do!

      Reply
  19. Lorraine
    May 4, 2017 at 5:43 pm (3 months ago)

    I can’t thank-you enough for the wonderful contribution you’ve made to lingerie, especially fuller bust, over the last 5 years. On a personal note, Miss Mandalay has steadily grown in the USA over the past 5 years and that all began thanks to you, Miss Underpinnings, Bybabyrules, Undergamer – and I am truly thankful for those mentions on social media, that were picked up by buyers. It’s always sad when we lose someone from our small industry but wishing you many new adventures and delighted to hear you’re not completely leaving us! Have loved watching SweetNothings grow over the past 5 years xx

    Reply
    • Sweets
      May 5, 2017 at 4:08 pm (3 months ago)

      Lorraine! Thank you so much for this lovely note! It has been a pleasure getting to know you and to follow the journey of Miss Mandalay to the US. I wish you so much continuing success!

      Reply
  20. Mira
    May 4, 2017 at 11:36 pm (3 months ago)

    Your blog was one of the first I discovered when I realized I might not be alone in my love of lingerie. It was wonderfully eye opening reading from your perspective.

    Reply
  21. D
    May 5, 2017 at 8:44 am (3 months ago)

    Happy 5 years anniversary! Reading a post from Sweets is often a highlight of the week. Please please please do a recipe pairing. How could you celebrate 5 years without one?

    I look forward to reading the occasional special posts, projects and collaborations. I’m sure they’ll be grand. I love your style… and drama :)

    Reply
  22. astrid
    May 9, 2017 at 7:01 am (3 months ago)

    Thank you for everything you’ve shared all through these five years, and for everything you’ll keep sharing with special collaborations and editorials. You’re an inspiration. Much love!

    Reply
  23. alysha
    May 15, 2017 at 12:29 am (3 months ago)

    I am very proud of you and so impressed with your courage and what you have done, and I can’t believe it has been 5 years, wow! Well done lady! Really. So honored to have been a part of this, and you never know what the future may bring. You deserve the best. You are a rock star!!!! – alysha

    Reply
  24. Sowmya
    June 24, 2017 at 10:47 pm (2 months ago)

    Your blog is so much helpful for me to handle lingerie/fitting issues. I wish to thank you for your every effort, which has helped numerous women to deal with lingerie and body positivity issues in a much better and bearable way. I am saddened about not seeing you around often. However I wish to express my gratitude and best wishes to you in all spheres of your life.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Sweets
      June 25, 2017 at 8:53 pm (2 months ago)

      Thank you so much, Sowmya. I am so touched by your kind words.

      Reply
  25. Fiona
    June 28, 2017 at 9:16 pm (2 months ago)

    Thank you for 5 wonderful years. Wishing you peace of mind asap and every success in whichever endeavour you lend your amazingness to next. xxx

    Reply

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