When-I-Win-The-Lottery Splurge: Agent Provocateur Home Silk Ruffle Bedding

One of the things that I love most about lingerie is the fantasy aspect of it.  I sigh over the long floofy robes and the gloves and the stockings and the chemises not because I wear them every day, but because they so perfectly capture the sense of play and secret identity lingerie can offer us.  When you’re both private by nature and possessed of a rich fantasy life, spectacular lingerie is an incredibly delightful way to channel those fantasies.

Julia Lambert and I occasionally have long, carefully thought-out, in-depth conversations about what to do if we win the lottery.  Settling debts and charitable donations come first, financial security comes second, and personal indulgences come third.  While the details of each category change, there’s one item that almost always appears in our personal indulgence columns: a full set of Agent Provocateur silk ruffle bedding.

I mean, look at this stuff:

Ridiculous, and yet divine.

Ridiculous, and yet divine.

It’s absurd.  No one needs a giant bed swathed in silk.  I’m told silk pillowcases are really good for your skin and hair, but this is nonsensical, with prices to match.  If I ever walked into my bedroom and saw a bed like this I’d probably turn red and giggle for a while, before leaping onto it in delight.

To go with all your vintage peach silk lingerie, of course.

To match all your vintage peach silk lingerie, naturellement.  Best served with a glass of champagne.

This will go so nicely with all of the girly nonsense I will have when I one day acquire Amy Adams’ wardrobe and sets from Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.

Delysia La Fosse

Oh, and it’s only available in King and Superking sizes, because of course.

I won't lie, I think the black set is kind of awful.

I won’t lie, I think the black set is kind of creepy and awful.

If I had to think of the most decadent, disgustingly self-indulgent, wildly unnecessary thing to buy myself, this would be it.  You can therefore imagine my horror when I logged onto the AP website last night while writing this post to discover that the bedding section had disappeared.

WHAT.

I was able to find the landing screen, but couldn’t navigate to the individual items.  I turned to the cats in despair, and they were predictably unsupportive.

agent-provocateur-home-range

Agent Provocateur.  You cannot do this to me.  Sure, if I remember correctly, a single pillowcase was like $325, which is approximately ten times what I pay for my other sheet sets, but I needed to know that this stuff would be there, waiting for me, in case I could ever afford it.  And a new bed that it would fit on.  And an apartment big enough to hold said bed.

I have never been so disappointed to lose something I was never going to buy in a million years.  Please, please internet: please tell me this hasn’t been discontinued.  I know it’s only a dream, but oh, what a magnificent one.

UPDATE:

Okay, yes I'm sad, but I'm now also kind of in love with AP's social media person.

Okay, yes I’m sad, but I’m now also kind of in love with AP’s social media person.

7 Comments on When-I-Win-The-Lottery Splurge: Agent Provocateur Home Silk Ruffle Bedding

  1. Erica of A Sophisticated Pair
    September 12, 2013 at 11:07 am (6 years ago)

    The only word that came to mind when I saw those sheets was “decadent.” *swoon* I do like those, but you know, I’d be scared to sleep on them for fear of messing them up. Plus, my poor dogs would be kicked out because no way would I get their wiry-embed-itself-into-the-very-fiber-of-the-fabric-so-you-have-to-pick-it-out hair on my silk bed set! 😀

    Reply
    • Sweets
      September 12, 2013 at 11:11 am (6 years ago)

      It’s true, Gus and Ruby will be sore displeased when I get fancy bedding. Sorry, furballs, them’s the breaks. 🙂

      Reply
    • Samantha W
      September 12, 2013 at 6:14 pm (6 years ago)

      Funny, the only “word” that came to mind for me was “ohgodwant”…

      Reply
      • Sweets
        September 12, 2013 at 8:50 pm (6 years ago)

        Accurate. 🙂

        Reply
  2. DA
    September 13, 2013 at 5:29 am (6 years ago)

    I need to know who bought those sheets until they’re all sold out, and if it’s a guy, I’m gonna seduce him. Just because. Eeeee peach silk bed sheets! I WANT.

    Reply
  3. lauriedancer
    September 14, 2013 at 11:14 pm (6 years ago)

    And yes, the Hamlet is enchanting as well…there is someone who enjoys her job 😉

    Reply

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